It’s so cool how God works. Turns out, after my own birthday wish was fulfilled at this year’s Different Kind of Birthday Party, two other wishes consequently came true as well. One wish was made by a friend of mine who I didn’t even know battled homelessness, and the other wish was made for the homeless man who had started my journey into a Different Kind of Life.
A friend from church read about my Different Kind of Birthday Party and reached out to me right afterwards. He said he was deeply moved by the story. When I asked why, he explained that not so long ago he had been homeless himself.
His wish for his birthday this year, was that he could respond to my story by serving rather than being served, and take me out to lunch on his birthday while sharing with me (and you) his own story of homelessness.
As we sat across the lunch table, he explained that it was actually quite easy for him to become homeless, and shared many of the same themes expressed in a Different View of Homelessness.
He had grown up in Chicago, finished school, and landed a job working for Chicago O’Hare Airport. His road to homelessness began when his low-income family, all living together, wasn’t able to consistently keep up with rent payments. They ended up going their separate ways upon eviction; his mom moved to another state, his sister moved in with family friends, and so on. He didn’t want to be a burden on friends, or really even to explain he was without a place to live, so he moved into inexpensive housing run by the YMCA.
He admittedly made poor financial decisions and in an effort to live a lifestyle he couldn’t afford, sacrificed one too many rent payments and lost the apartment at the YMCA. He reached out to friends of the family and asked to stay with them, but the most they felt comfortable offering at the time was a few nights at their church until a more permanent arrangement could be made. He stayed at the church for a while, but then was asked to find an arrangement that could be more permanent.
The closest friends he had at the time were through work, but he was too embarrassed to tell them he had nowhere to live. The day he had to leave the church and was without a place to go, he fell into depression and didn’t call into work – and didn’t go. Instead he spent the day trying to figure out where he was going to sleep that night. After asking around, a friend of a friend granted him a meal and one night stay at their family’s home. But the next morning he found a list of phone numbers for shelters sitting on the counter for him to call. It was clear this had been a one-night arrangement.
He couldn’t believe he might actually have to spend the night in a shelter. A homeless shelter. He called one of the numbers and they said they could take him in that night if he arrived soon. At that point he didn’t know what else to do and went. He paused at this point in the story and seemed to drift away as he remembered that first shelter night as “a rude awakening.” There were 20-30 mats on the floor, all in one large room, where everyone slept. As he laid awake in the dark, feeling alone even though surrounded by people, the only sound in the room was occasional coughing.
Several nights turned into a several months, and he recalled at that time he had begun learning a new “way of life.”
He lived by the shelter rules. He ate when he could, slept when he could, and arrived and left when required. A man in the shelter befriended him and ‘showed him the ropes’ of shelter-life and in that part of town. He gave him a Bible, spoke about God, and gave him hope. Even though homeless, my friend remembers God’s presence in his life at that time, and how he had felt lost but never alone. When summer came, the shelter closed for the season and gave everyone one night to find other accommodations. He then lived at a different shelter for another several months until that option was also no longer available.
He describes this period of time going from shelter-to-shelter as “rock-bottom.”
Desperate for another option and without a job at this point, he went to hospitals asking if he could stay there, even for a few hours overnight. He looked for coffee shops or any place that was open, to get a break from walking and being outside. One morning he stood and waited for a friend to show up to work, and when they arrived he asked if there was anything they could do for him: a place to stay, some food, or something.
And that’s when a ray of light entered in. He was connected with a church where he met a pastor that found him a place to stay. He was also connected with a telemarketing job which helped him slowly start saving up money again, and paid for basic expenses. That was the turning point he needed, but it wasn’t until several years later that he reached a place in life he calls “stabilized.”
I asked him if he worries about being homeless again, and he said yes. But not as often as he used to. Now he has reconnected with his dad and there are more safeguards and relationships in his life than there had been at that time. But those years he spent homeless living in shelters remain a vivid reminder that even when life seemed at its worst, God never left him. It is a powerful lesson in God’s faithfulness that he’ll never forget.
He’s making better financial decisions now and is involved with the homeless ministry my husband and I serve in. He shares his testimony with homeless men and women as an encouragement that it’s possible to climb back out again – with God’s help.
As I mentioned, this was just the first birthday wish that resulted from the Different Kind of Birthday Party. The second wish was for a friend that had started my journey into a Different Kind of Life.
The homeless man who took me to the tents for the very first time, and had helped my birthday wish come true, has since become a friend of our family. We recently found out his birthday was approaching but that he was without people or plans to celebrate. My wish on his birthday was on his behalf: that he could be celebrated the way he wanted and deserved. I said that he could choose any friend he wanted and come over to our house for dinner. Delighted, he arrived on his birthday with his best friend, who was living in a shelter nearby, and they were expecting dinner but not a surprise party…
How fun it was to offer him our very best! We decorated with streamers and balloons, and pinned him with a “birthday badge” when he arrived. I made the fanciest, tastiest meal I knew how, complete with appetizers, entree, dessert, and an assortment of after-dinner coffees. We broke out the best plates and glasses we had for the occasion. We played games, ate cake and ice cream, and laughed when he was afraid to blow out the birthday candles for fear of catching his long beard on fire. It was so fun. What a joy to shower him and his friend with love and celebration. I had recently reflected on a Different Kind of Celebrating and was thrilled to share it with them.
That night, after all the fun and clean-up was over, I laid in bed with a smile on my face. I opened my Bible and miraculously turned right to this verse (Luke 14: 12-14), spoken by Jesus:
When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid.
But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.
I realized it wasn’t often that I threw a dinner party and needed to be mindful of the time so my guests got into their shelter lines for admission. It wasn’t often I could offer a home-cooked meal in which guests enjoyed even more because it wasn’t shelter-food. But now that I’ve done it, it’s the only kind of dinner party I want to throw.
So far this year, three birthday wishes have come true. And the year isn’t even halfway over! I can’t wait to see what God does next.
